Erhan Önal's Blog

Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Church of the Mother Earth

I have hereby decided to found a new church, namely, "The Church of the Mother Earth." About 5 years ago, I began reading about major religions to find the one that made sense the most. All of these B.S. (Belief Systems) had appealing attributes, but none of them fit me exactly. On July 4th, 2002, however, I was abducted by aliens. They told me that they chose me since I was someone who was seeking the truth and had an open mind. They told me everything I needed to know.

The aliens lived in a planet named Kragos in the middle of Andromeda galaxy. They had created life on Earth millions of years ago. They envisioned a habitat where all the animals, plants, and living things would live in harmony. But alas, the greedy humans began destroying the nature as early as 4000 B.C. The aliens were watching us back then. They tried to inform us through many prophets. Actually, these prophets such as Moses, Buddha, and Jesus were the incarnation of the very same person sent here by the aliens. We did not listen to them. We continued doing what we knew best - to plunder, destroy, and ruin the habitat we belonged. It was because of our greedy nature - surely, no amount of education was enough to teach a human not to hurt the nature. The aliens told me that the only thing left to do was to end the human race, right now. But the aliens are a non-violent race - how is this end going to be achieved? The answer is what they call the voluntary sterilization. If humans stopped having babies voluntarily for only one generation, it would be enough to restore the habitat. They told me to spread the word, and left our planet.

Now, I want to emphasize that I am NOT a prophet. I am a mere mortal passing the message. The B.S., the B.S. of the Church of the Mother Earth, is thus:

We are not pro-life or pro-choice, but pro-abortion. If a single generation does not have kids, humanity will cease to exist, and Mother Earth will not have to suffer anymore. The Church of the Mother Earth is full of compassion - our B.S. is truly full of it. We are not violent - we are opposed to any kind of action that would try to end the human race by violence. The only thing our church can do is to inform people so that they "choose" not to have kids. If one looks at the other B.S. throughout the history, s/he can see the same principles - a peaceful existence. Human race has simply gone too far with global warming, oil spills, and deforestation: This cannot continue anymore. Please pass this message to everyone you know.

2 Comments:

Blogger Eric B. said...

This is a risky manuever, I'm afraid you're showing your hand a little prematurely.

Historically cults don't tell their members up front that they want them to die. This topic usually percolates up slowly: "Oh, by the way... You know that alien ship we've all been waiting for? Well, we have to kill ourselves to get on board." "Oh, by the way, Jesus says you should drink the kool-aid." Etc..

You, on the other hand, have no bones about this. Church of Mother Earth wants you to die along with your wish to procreate. Bold indeed.

August 18, 2005 at 5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear phaedrus,

Thank you for your interest in the Church of the Mother Earth. Let me point out that we are not interested in suicide or our members dying before their time. Our sole focus is on procreation (or the lack of it). Hope to hear from you again - COME Staff.

August 24, 2005 at 12:10 PM  

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