Erhan Önal's Blog

Saturday, September 26, 2009

DSM - V

Well, the new version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is almost here! As your blogger, I took a sneak peek into what is to come in the new version. It seems like American Psychiatric Association went to great lengths to incorporate brand-new disorders to reflect our modern times. Some new entries are below, exclusively on this blog:

Connectophobia

Definition: An unreasonable fear of missing connecting flights.
Found among: People with other anxiety disorders and passengers with Turkish Airlines tickets.
Symptoms: Twitching, checking the clock constantly, running frantically between terminals, missing flights, missing luggages, being the last passenger to board the plane.
Treatment: CBT, DBT, certain lifestyle changes.

Marcus Tradomanicus

Definition: An addiction to successfully suing corporations for trademark infringement.
Found among: Very successful corporate lawyers.
Symptoms: Having a lot of money, clout, and prestige.
Treatment: Treatment is problematic since patients usually refuse treatment for some reason.

Pseudopsychosociopathy

Definition: An unhealthy obsession with psychology and psychiatry without any formal, relevant background.
Found among: Bloggers.
Symptoms: Pretending to be a psychiatrist or psychologist, psychobabble, posting fake DSM info online, coming up with pseudo-scientific theories on evolutionary psychology.
Treatment: There is no known cure.

I found the last one quite interesting... I am only hoping that none of the bloggers I know will be diagnosed by this horrible-sounding disease. If, unfortunately, my fears realize, my heart goes out to them and their families.