Romney for President

As my fellow readers know, I do make presidential endorsements... It is almost 2012, and now I would like to make an endorsement just like I did in 2008 (I had endorsed Barak - not Barack - for 2008). This time, my endorsement may even have a chance of winning since he is a US citizen:

Erhan Onal officially endorses Mitt Romney for president!!!

This was not a hard decision to make at all. I love this guy. And here are the reasons:

1. He is Mormon. We, as a great country, even elected a Muslim for president (And you all know who that was, George H. W. Bush of course. He disliked Israel so much that I suspect he was a closet Muslim). Now it is time for a Mormon one, so that we are officially without prejudice.

2. He only ruined Massachusetts with his healthcare initiative. Obama's will ruin the whole country.

3. I don't believe a word he says. I understand this may be a counterintuitive argument, but believe me, you would prefer him to be lying when he says, "I would double the size of Guantanamo Bay Prison." Do not let these statements scare you, he is just getting ready for his RINOplasty*. We all know he doesn't care about Guantanamo, gays, etc. He is a businessman. A good one, too.

4. He is slick. WAY TOO slick. I love slick people. He looks very presidential. Actually he looks more presidential than any real presidents we have had in a while.

5. He has a lot of money. He may even pay off the federal debt with his money.

And one advice, Mr. Romney... For you to win, you need to SKIP Iowa caucuses. Focus directly on New Hampshire primaries. Iowa would not vote for you if Jesus Christ himself came down and endorsed you. Let them vote for Huckabee again.

* RINOplasty: Every RINO (Republican in name only) needs this operation before primaries. In this operation, they change their views and become hardcore social and economic conservatives. When the primaries are over, they go back to normal and woo the independents.