I wonder...
Why is it that lesbians are cute and homosexual males aren't? Imagine a woman who explains to her husband: "Well, I experimented when I was in college, I have been with girls." And now imagine the opposite: "I dated a guy when I was in college, but it was only a one time thing. It was just a fling." Who is more likely to be more OK with it - the husband or the wife? What makes girl-to-girl action so cute and man-to-man not cute at all? These questions, my friends, are tearing my head into pieces at night :))))
posted by Erhan Onal @ 11:26 PM
4 Comments:
Because most humans live in a patriarchical society where being female is a handicap. Thus, when a male behaves like a female (his social inferior) others think that he is a worthless loser. On the other hand, females are already lowly so it doesn't matter what they do. :)
Or alternatively, you think this way because you are a male yourself. So you can emphatise better with a male homosexual than with a female. We may expect different behaviour from females.
My feeling in this matter is that a man can (and does) imagine himself together with two lesbians. So thinking about it does not hurt that much, it even gives pleasure (a chance to impregnate two women at the same time, a logic of association gone awry: as in "She has the ability to attract other women, I might benefit from that"). But certain movie genres nonwithstanding, what can a woman gain by being with two men at the same time?
In a patriatchical society, female "mistake" (being with women) should be penalized more strongly. After all, how dare they behave manly!
They need to make a study about this (they already did, perhaps), about how men view homosexual history in their partners, and how women view the same. We certainly have a hypothesis, but it will take some effort to turn it into a reliable theory.
A woman can gain a lot by being with two men at the same time. When she is with a baby, the males won't be sure who is the father, and she will get help from both males. In fact, the more males she sleeps with, the better. This is a typical female tactic; to confuse the males about the paternity.
This would work in a maternal society, but in a paternal society where the males inherit the wealth, this is hell.
There will always be some women that will fantasize about and act upon having two (or more) guys at the same time (same day, time, and place). I should have put prostitution as another exception near the porn stardom (Although, these exceptions are not comprehensive)! As the current research suggests, though, women fantasize about having multiple partners at the same time far less than men do. Confusion of the baby's father and its uses have been reported in (Miller, G.), which is an admittedly risky approach since the female risks ending up with no support from her partners who don't believe they are the father (Especially if they have seen multiple partners with their own "eyes"). So the situation may degenerate into "support for sex" argument (rather than support for the baby per se), as we have seen in the porn stardom example.
So I am not so sure if "more males she sleeps with, the better", at least for our average Jane - Monogamy has its virtues (Another point is that I was talking about having sex with two males at the same time, not sleeping around on different days, so to speak). So, the bottom line is that it is OK for men to do it with two women at the same time, but women shouldn't do the same with two men (kidding of course) :) You mentioned most of us live in patriarchical societies, what do you suggest we do to change it then?
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